Language is limiting…we know that. Add to that this static inflectionless type, and things get less clear.

I think we both understand that each other are more than what these letters might type out.

Thank you for discussing it further with me. See ya on the next thread!

Cheers,

Garrett

Yes after re-reading your I realized that I took offense that you were calling me racist and it was probably an over-reaction to your analogy. The analogy just was too close to being called a racist and I jumped to that conclusion. You were not calling me racist but you were saying that her legitimacy was my problem which was a misunderstanding on your part.

The epiphany that racism is not the problem of the “person of race” but the racist’s problem I disagree with. I think it’s a society’s problem, one we all share. This revelation allows a feeling of liberation from a burden needlessly carried alone. The immigration problem we share. I do not have a racist bone in my body and I am totally pro-immigration & amnesty making people like Amber legal already.

What I object to is that you have authorized yourself to police what my reaction/comments can and cannot be. I have already said that I apologized if I offended you which I apparently have. It should have been enough. But you insist on fighting for Amber. I have already said that I know I was somewhat harsh in my first comment. I have said some positive things about Amber which don’t seem to count or register, only the criticisms matter. So you are protecting her, from your first post on. You won’t allow any criticism.

For me these appearances, and especially this last one in the subway, with all the background noise, brought to mind the people entertaining in the subway with their hats on the floor or their guitar cases open for your change. The line “it proves all you need is schtick” was a throw away line- a well-known cliché… If you parse it I suppose it means ( to me anyway) to get on stage ( ie to get attention) that is all you need… a good act. Like to have a hit tune you need a good “hook”. It was an impulse remark. But I think Amber is not seeking to be on the airwaves, she is being rather egged on “to do her thing”. I don’t think this does her a service. Just my opinion.

I was more taken that she is still in this place where she cannot reveal herself even to meet in a studio. Surely this subway set-up was not part of the drama. No! I think it means a level of real fear on her part. What does that mean to you?

No, Nother, I am old enough to be her mother. And I am tired of her situation already. I want her to resolve it if she wants to. Apparently she does, So pardon if I feel some of that. Pardon if I don’t gush. Not gushing allows me something else- to see her situation and feel for that.

And I very much resent you telling me that I have to see her the way you do.

My Aunt always said to me something my mother never did, that her mother, my grandmother, told her – if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Same thing you are telling me. I suppose that would be true of Amber too right?

I have not lived my life that way. But I have tried in my life to say things that I had to say in a kinder way than I did here ( not always successfully).

I am more of the school that believes that we owe each other something, how we see, even if it may hurt. My impulse was harsh, but I realize that it was a response to hers which was also harsh. I think she can take it. That I don’t think she can post here to say one way or another is the shame.

That’s my schtick- best to you and let’s move on I agree.

Potter

I am Amber. Allison is Amber, you are Amber. If Amber had disparaged you in the same way, I would have defended you with as much zeal.

I was wrong to accuse you of not finding her legitimate. I know that is not what you meant and I used your word against you. I am sorry for that.

I stand by the rest of the post.

It sounds like you are misconstruing my race analogy the way I misconstrued your word legitimate. I think you know I wasn’t implying that you were judging her by the color of her skin. I stand by my analogy.

In your first post you characterized the whole of Amber’s expressions with Christopher Lydon as “it proves all you need is shtick.” Now in your last post you seem to want to convey that what you meant was, you do not have to apologize for simply not gushing over her. As if that is the same sentiment. That is spin, Potter.

And as far as apologizing to me, that’s like the old line, “I apologize to anyone I offended.” (I don’t apologize for the remark, only if you were offended). And you state that you were apologizing to me. I…do not want an apology.

And as far as the jealous remark. I will give you my reasoning. You wrote, “It proves, all you need is shtick”. I ask you Potter, all you need is Shtick – to accomplish what? You are presupposing that Amber will say whatever it takes to get on the airwaves with Christopher Lydon, as if that’s is one of her grand ambitions. You have been affiliated with the program for a long time; you hold it in very high esteem, as do I. So I think it’s possible that you attribute being on the air with Christopher Lydon as something so redeemable that a woman such as Amber would compromise her integrity and employ shtick to accomplish those means. That’s where I come up with the jealous theory.

This wounded woman places her trust in Christopher Lydon, opens up on the airwaves for his listeners (who she must value), and your response is “it proves all you need is shtick.”

Maybe this would have been a good time to employ that old sang that our parents taught us, if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. Please tell me, in the scheme of things, what good comes from criticizing this lady. It’s one thing to criticize a public voice like a politician that Chris speaks with, I think it quite another to disparage a woman who Chris obviously requested to speak, and who goes on the subway and risks herself to express herself for his listeners.

I will read your response if you choose to respond, but then I figure it’s best if we all just move on to the next thread. I still respect you and I will still read you.

Sincerely,

Garrett

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shtick

Your response here was “thank you, thank you” – which mine often is here. I did not mean to insult you or anyone in particular) but rather to say that I am not swept up in the gushing for the reasons I have already given.

As I said I devoted a whole post to “sorry” above. I feel I need one from you.

A surprising statement from you, again taking mine to negative heights,especially given that I said I consider you my friend here.

By not being legitimate- I don’t mean by me ,Nother ( I accept her)- I mean for her sake. In other words to receive the benefits of our society- a driver’s license, ID & passport, the right to vote, health care, employment. The last two which may make her anxious about her status… the others she can I suppose deal. I can’t see her spending her years this way and allowing this groove to set in attitudinally as well. Her hyper-criticism is related to her status in my view.

You make this into my racial problem which I find insulting:

“It reminds me of the arguments of long ago when people would say, why do those black people stay in the projects…I know black people that have made it out.”

You put the racial thing onto mine. You said that, I did not. I don’t know where you get race in my comment above except when I quoted Amber about herself. I don’t see her color. I hear her.

As for “sorry” Nother – I devoted a whole separate comment to saying I was sorry to you- with no acknowledgment but this nastiness about being jealous (???). I am disappointed since I too have enjoyed reading you. Apparently in your zeal to protect Amber from my criticism of her criticism you give no benefit of the doubt here. Am I not allowed not to gush??

I do not need to apologize to Amber for caring about her situation beyond her words of criticism. Amber is about immigration for me, about belonging, about her feeling she belongs, not my feeling of whether she does.

You surprise me as you are very big on immigration issues but here you don’t see this as one.

A while back I spoke with a civil rights activist named Horace Seldon. He told me that he spent many years fighting to help African Americans with their problem of racism. Then in middle of the struggle he had an epiphany: racism was not the problem of black people, it was the problem of white people.

If Amber is not legitimate in your eyes, then that is your problem, not hers.

All your remedies above for Amber have to do with her fixing her problem someway, “It’s hard for me to believe that there are not a number of ways that she could go to reach that end.”

It reminds me of the arguments of long ago when people would say, why do those black people stay in the projects…I know black people that have made it out.

And as far as characterizing the whole of Amber’s conversations through the years with one word, “Shtick,” I’m disappointed that in your long post you could not squeeze in the tiny word, “sorry.” It’s amazing how hard it is for people to apologize for anything nowadays.

Potter, I would never go as far as summing up everything you ever wrote on ROS in one word, but I will attempt to characterize what you wrote on this thread in one word: jealous.

I do respect you and I’ve enjoyed reading you through the years. But your apology would not be for me, it would be for Amber. And if you met her face to face, I have a feeling you find that apology somehow.

I really hope that Amber can become legitimate here somehow- and that she will get up the courage to face whatever when the time is deemed right. (Chris can’t keep meeting her that way!)

Thanks Allison – and nother. I consider you friends.