I don’t think it has so much to do with feminism, and I have restrained from saying anything for decades because I don’t want to be considered judgemental of working women. BUT I do think that babies and young children should be taken care of primarily by family. It doesn’ have to be mother. It could be father, grandparents, aunts or uncles. Members of the family can afford to invest love, day care providers can’t. Day care providers can care and provide good care, but they can’t very often afford to love the children they care for.

Long ago I worked as a pre-school teacher in a day care center. It was great for the kids who were there part time, but over half of the kids were there full time. I saw more of them than their parents did. I did not, and could not love them like I love my own children.

I wonder how many people in our society have “attachment disorder”. One of my daughters spent her first year in an orphanage with limited resources. This was more extreme than most children face here, but its really made me think about how important attachment is to a human.

My curiousity drove me to listen to this topic. I thought I would listen to 10 minutes of the show and feel alienated. Was I wrong.

After my mom’s divorce from my dad, + the hispanic family + community connected to him, was trully a devastating period for us. Yet she managed to get a BA and MS, while working and raising a family of 4 and is now working in the social services to help women who are in her position. She is currently working on getting her Phd part time, while working in Mass.

I heard the discussion, and it trully hit home when I heard Lonnae O’Neal Parker, and Luwana Marts speak. I remembered that while my mom was getting degree’s, several families from our new church, from the pastor on down, pitched in to help us through our rough patch.

A great side topic could be how cost of living is influencing the number of stay at home mom’s over time versus career mom’s versus career women.

This discussion could support several sequels and not be dilluted.

1) Regular medical check ups, mammograms, teeth cleaning, flossing

2) Healthy diet

3) Cooking

4) Exercise

5) Seeing the kids after school

6) Hobbies

7) Life insurance
Investments

9) Music

10) Reading

11) Helping our neighbors

12) Knowing our neighbors

13) Recycling

14) Grandparents

Does Ms. Hirshman know you only live once? I’m sure glad we didn’t wait until we were 65 years old to start. This is not to say that we did not have great lives, and sure, I would do it again. But I have no criticism for the woman (or man) who decides to drop out and pursue something besides a career. When we sold our business, we took the kids out of school for a year and hit the road. It’s been the greatest thing we ever did, opting out of the workforce. Who is Ms. Hirshman to rank all the things there are to pursue in life and give the holy number one spot to whatever earns a buck. Let’s talk about all the wasted energy, servitude, and absurdism unleashed in the name of ‘running a business’ (read “repetitious, socially invisible, and physical tasks�). I applaud every woman (or man) who decides to just “hang� and explore the multitude of dimensions in loving life as a human being. If Mama wants to serve meatloaf every night so she can be with her kids and raise young people who have confidence, self-esteem, and great values, more power to her. Don’t even get me started on all the bad things going on with latch-key kids out there. Have you met the newest generation? It’s scary!

So, what I’m really saying is, let’s hear a show on how this society can go on having everybody at the office (or commuting to the office) and take care of living life too. I don’t think it works to have every adult in the household tearing around in fifth gear for a career and I don’t think our economy should be calibrated to that. If there’s never anyone at home, than there is no “home� to return to. Sure it would be great to have the alpha male do his half too, but I don’t hear Ms. Hirshman talking about how that could be arbitrated. That’s because she would have to get down into the trenches and talk about all the petty stuff that women are struggling with everyday. Her lofty talk about just charging off to the business world and leaving the rest of life at the curb shows callous indifference to women who want human meaning in their lives.

i’m not saying the men that stay home are spineless. they are percieved as so, esp by women. they are lesser men. lennon is rather an exeptional example being fabulously rich and famous making him extremely desirable no matter what he choose to do. most housewife men are not going to be rich famous hippies. if hirshmans goal is for women to find such a creature, well…happy hunting is all i can say.

“Hey wait a minute! This is grass! We’ve been eating grass!”

This is the workplace and a “career� relieved of false glamour. Being confined to the work cubicle from 9-5 and the rush hour commute both ways, plus dealing with work relationships, guilt about shortchanging your children, anxiety about performing, keeping up your responsibilities and relationships on both ends, and physical exhaustion do not necessarily lead to happiness and fulfillment. To counteract this one needs the perfect situation and a sense of purpose which I would bet few have.

Linda Hirshman on the show ( I believe it was) represented staying at home as drudgery but never mentioned the drudgery one often can encounter in the workplace.

I agree it’s about choice and enabling that choice. Any choice requires sacrifice and has it’s downside.

And yes! I agree, it is the miserable attitude our culture has toward labor and lack of family support that is a major culprit. In a tribal system there is much better family support. Few Americans even have extended family nearby for help.

Also, in the academic world, feminism still has a long way to go. Just check out who is getting tenue. It is still mostly men so I wouldn’t worry too much about helping the “men who are falling behind”.